when i decide i like something, i really get into it. i grab hold with both hands, and i really dig deep. i don't like to try things on, i try them out. when i try new things — which is almost always, if things are going ok — i like to commit. i make it me, for a couple days, a few weeks, sometimes months or years. i struggle to not fully explore a new interest.
i don't mean to suggest i'm disciplined in any way, because i'm not. i don't accomplish much. i learn everything about something, but i don't necessarily do it. i'm a "jack of" kinda guy. i have trivial knowledge that runs deep, but i'm not really an expert about anything.
i guess that's a form of passion. you have to care about something to really see it through, but also just, like, knowing everything there is to know about it might be a version of "seeing through it," right? and like most passions, these feelings tend to subside, sometimes really quickly. it doesn't mean they can't be reignited again — in fact, it's very likely they will be — but when the flames out, it's out.
before this sounds too philosophical, this is all to say i've been getting really into rick glassman's podcast "take your shoes off." well, not even that, really? basically, i watched an episode with zach woods, was absolutely shocked by how good it was, watched another with joe gatto (of impractical jokers), enjoyed that too. they referenced rick's friendship with sal vulcano (another impractical joker), so i watched the first episode with him — was totally floored by how good it was. it was watching two strangers become childhood friends in real time. i watched the rest of the sal vulcano episodes, and now i've been binging impractical jokers and just watched sal's comedy special.
i don't know exactly if this is time used well. i don't really know what i gain from all this. but it's definitely not casual consumption, there's something intellectual going on here. and while i have been known to build a bit of a parasocial relationship with people i'm fans of during these deep-dives, this time at least i can say that isn't the case. i've always been entertained by sal vulcano (i used to watch jokers a lot and listen to his old podcast), but i'm not particularly interested in him. i wouldn't even say i'm a fan. and i'm definitely not a rick glassman guy, although i do love this podcast.
what it probably comes down to is that i've made some sort of emotional connection with this material, and i'm chasing it until the trail goes cold.